yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize