I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
