Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This baby is an asshole
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
