At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
