I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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