She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
