I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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