so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
