Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize