I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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