how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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