I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
