I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
