it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
