Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
