1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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