you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
