Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize