btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
