sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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