Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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