I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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