Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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