so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
