I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
