Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
do herpes really smell.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
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I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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