At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
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we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
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I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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