You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
