Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
honey bunches of taint.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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