Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
