I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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