I wish i was in the wii world.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
