i permit you to call me
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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