I have demons in me.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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