its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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