Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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