Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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