There was a lot of him and a little penis
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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