Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
