wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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