I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
