That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
