just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
