I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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