Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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