Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
