Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
