tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
A+ Viking dick
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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