dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
There's even glitter on my cock...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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