just come out here and I will go home with you...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
