guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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