no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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