Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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