I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
