youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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