Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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