you win again, gameday.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
