Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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