am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
