Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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