i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
