Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
